Can’t Get It Out Of My Head
I can’t get the word “surrender” out of my head, leading me to explore this topic. Since Manifesting Me came into the world this past June, the hoopla has died down a smidgen. It’s not to say things aren’t happening, but the hype isn’t as prevalent as it was during the book launch. I can’t stop feeling like I’m missing out on something. I find I have been comparing myself with other authors; a topic I’ve talked about in a previous blog. https://leahereinhart.com/how-does-the-three-toxic-cs-affect-your-success/ While I am being proactive in my process of being an author, I constantly hear the little voice in my head saying, “surrender.”
I don’t think I’ve actually understood what “surrender” really meant, up to this point. Even though I’ve heard other use the phrase, “surrender” a thousand time, I’ve only understood it logically. I think I’m finally understanding on a deeper level what the true meaning is. As much as I want to be knee deep in the author world, there’s a gestation period, like anything else. Another topic I’ve blogged about, before. https://leahereinhart.com/everyone-has-potential-to-do-anything/ However, when I am the person in the state of insecurity, I know that I have to reel in my negative thoughts; and let be, what will be. It’s not always easy at first. Hence, I have to surrender.
A White Flag Or Throwing In the Towel Equals Surrender
Most of us think of a white flag waving or of throwing in the towel, when someone brings up the word, surrender; as giving up. Surrendering doesn’t mean you give up on what you’re trying to accomplish. It means to stop trying to control specific outcomes. Surrendering, means do what you can and don’t focus on things out of your control. Don’t obsess on the things that aren’t going exactly the way you envisioned.
Maybe the thing I thought wasn’t happening, just hasn’t happened, yet. As much as I’ve preached on how the Universe is working for you, this is the time when I need to practice what I preach. If things are meant to be, they will. And if not, something better will come.
Comparing Can Get You Into Trouble
As a new author, I didn’t have a clear picture of what my outcome was to be. I knew I wanted to write my memoir and that it would hopefully help someone. I relied heavily on reading what other authors have shared online to get an indicator of what the author life was like.
I’ve heard time and time again, Don’t plan to get rich off of your first book. It’s your second or even tenth book, that makes you money. Which doesn’t sound hopeful; especially after spending a pretty penny to publish. Or I am on the morning show. I’m winning all these awards, which isn’t something that has it happened in my experience…at least not at this point.
Being in social media groups with other authors sharing their journey, has been helpful, inspiring, and has been very useful. But at times, has triggered my insecurities. I find myself comparing and competing with other authors, when I have no clue of where they are in their journey. Maybe they’ve been working if the field for many years. Maybe they’ve paid more for an expensive publicity package. Whatever the case is, I know nothing of their history and to presume anything is just silly; like comparing apples to oranges. Logically, I know this to be very unproductive. Thankfully, the voice in my head is persistent.”Surrender!”
Insecure moments are quite normal, but aren’t discussed as much in these forums. Most want to show all of their accolades, which is awesome! Who wouldn’t want the world to know about their accomplishments and progress? I’d do the same thing. Publishing a book is an impressive achievement and one should be proud.
There’s more to writing a book, when you want to have it be part of your career. There’s a wealth of information and tons to do, most of which is fun and creative. Nonetheless, there’s the vulnerable part; especially when it comes to memoir. People are going to have opinions about you. Everyone has a story, so why does yours matter? Realizing you’re one of many to trying to make it, can be overwhelming at times. The voice in my head says, “Surrender.”
So what does that mean? I think to myself. “Quit worrying.” The voice in my head answers.
Although, both voices are in my head, I refer to my thoughts as one, and the voice another. My essence (my soul) is the inner voice telling my ego (thoughts) to surrender.
Learning how to surrender was something I was forced to do, once my book was released to the world. I’d spent the money to make it happen. There’s no turning back now. On the upside, the feedback has been pretty positive. Plus, I have events on the calendar. Then there’s the downside, I’d been informed of an awesome opportunity, but it hasn’t been confirmed. The voice continues telling me to surrender. Why do I need to hear this?
It’s quite simple. I’m focusing on the wrong things. Like, thinking the awesome opportunity is gone. When maybe, it just didn’t happen yet. I seem to have this sense of urgency. Clearly, my ego has taken control.
Essence And Ego
Ego constantly is testing reality and is finite. It’s good for accounting, organizing, etc. and is a part of you that you can’t get rid of. How I define the ego, is it’s the nagging part of your brain that expresses conditional love. Therefor, it points out all of your flaws.
Essence is the part of you – your soul or inner being – that loves you unconditionally and is infinite. It’s your connection to All. My essences wants me relax, by telling me, “Surrender. Everything will be fine. Don’t put all the emphasis into the outcome. Enjoy the journey. This is only the beginning. What’s the rush? Chill.”
When you are a doer, like I am, it’s hard to give up power and to allow things to happen in their natural time. I’m being guided by the little non-judging voice, to let it take whatever time is needed, and not look into the future with fear-clouded glasses, to be successful in anything.
Surrender Isn’t Forceful
Have you ever tried grasping a bar of soap tightly? If you have, you know its nearly impossible to hold on to it. It’s the same as holding on too tightly to a specific outcome. Let go a little and don’t try to force things. I’m sure you know of someone, or experienced it for yourself, an incident where you forced something, and you got it. Yet the desired outcome, wasn’t quite what you’d had in mind.
Surrender isn’t forceful, tense, or exhausting. Thus, if you are experiencing frustration and disappointment? It is time for you to surrender. And if things seem to be falling into place without force and you’re feeling joyful, motivated, and inspired? Pat yourself on the back! You are in what others call being in the flow. Can you tell when your ego get the best of you? Has the little voice in your head ever said, Surrender?
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell
Click the link to hear Oprah’s experience with surrendering and the movie, The Color Purple. https://youtu.be/tLAoc4HwecU
Click the link to hear Denzel Washington’s speech on his experience with surrendering. https://youtu.be/M99NCxR0a-Q