Poems

But…..

I met this guy

Who would change my world.

I never had much money before

But,

I knew this guy would change my life forever.

He wined and dined me,

Bought me pretty clothes and jewelry.

He told me how beautiful I was

And had a nice house

But,

I ignored the signs.

I was already in a bad space,

Coming out of a bad marriage

From years of being bossed,

Disrespected, and put down

But,

I maybe I deserve these people.

Maybe they are right. Maybe I am

Ugly and too stupid

And need to be controlled.

But,

This guy tells me I’m pretty

And wants to marry me.

He’s very smart and handsome, too.

I’ll never suffer financially again.

But,

We’ve been fighting a little bit.

He doesn’t like my hair anymore.

He says I’m getting fat.

He scares me when he yells.

He blames me for things

He’s done.

But,

I love him. And I marry him.

It’s good that I’m the one he chose.

It must mean I’m special.

Lots of women

Try to seduce him

But,

He’s mine.

I won.

I am the chosen one.

He cares about my health, obviously.

And I like feeling pretty around him.

I’ve never had money before.

I married a rich man

But,

It’s embarrassing

When the make-up doesn’t

Hide the bruises.

I know what people are thinking.

Lame excuses spill out of my mouth;

I fell in the bathroom, I slipped on the tile; typical.

But,

I need him

Which equates to I love him.

He’s always extremely sorry.

He’ll never do it again.

I’m not the only one this happens to.

But,

 

When will this stop?

It’s starting to hurt.

I don’t heal as fast as I used to.

I don’t have anyone

To turn to.

I chose him over my children.

They hate him.

But,

The bruises don’t last forever.

Broken bones always heal.

Everyone gets arthritis.

I have lots of money.

Maybe he’ die soon.

I’ll be able to do whatever I want.

Or maybe I’ll die soon

And the suffering will stop.

But,

Until then, I’ll suffer in silence and shame.

I’ll live in my pretend fairytale.

Most won’t really know what’s

Really happening,

Because I’ll never tell

The truth

Not even to myself.

~ Leah E. Reinhart