The Joys of Querying Literary Agents for the First Time

Querying Literary Agents For the First Time

If you’re an author querying literary agents, let the joy begin. Writing a manuscript is daunting enough, but let’s talk about the joys of querying literary agents. I published my first memoir and book, Manifesting Me: A Story of Rebellion and Redemption with a hybrid press. It gave me the opportunity to learn about the business of being an author. With that said, I wanted to try publish my debut novel in the traditional way. That involves querying literary agents.

Where To Begin Querying

Where does one begin this process of querying agents? Me? If I don’t know how to do something, YouTube is my best friend and teacher. Book Ends Literary agency has a wonderful and informative channel on everything querying along with some other channels. I find this one most helpful and honest.

First, you must have your manuscript complete to the best of your ability, have a one sentence hook, break down your manuscripts into first 10 pages, 30 pages, 50 pages, synopsis, your word count, know your genre, and most importantly your query letter. Fortunately, most literary agents tell you exactly what they want you to submit.

Research, Research, and More Research

Research, research, and more research on literary agents is vital and the most time consuming part, which you would think writing would be. Ok, the writing is more enjoyable, at least that’s my opinion.  And the odds are not really in your favor. I’ve listened to many agents’ interviews on the topic and what I gathered is it’s about 1 out of 100 queries that are accepted. Those are kind of frustrating odd. But you need to be smart and not waste your time on agents that would have absolutely no interest in your genre. If you could read one of their clients’ book to give you a sense of what they like, is a good option. Although, after researching as many literary agents as I have, I don’t read that quickly to read that many books.

The good news is there is most likely someone out there for you, which calls for some faith and stamina. You have to think of this as a search for a business partner. So, you wouldn’t want someone that doesn’t want you. I am in the process of querying at this very moment of writing this blog and have yet to get a request for my full manuscript.

Is There a Time to Give Up?

Giving up isn’t really my thing. I’ve worked too hard, like most writers, to only throw in the towel. I am hoping that whoever reads this, doesn’t give up, also. That doesn’t mean we may not have try something different, do a little tweaking to the query or even to your manuscript. Understanding that all topics won’t resonate with all agents. Everyone struggles at some point, and this process may not seem fair, but life isn’t fair, nor was it meant to be. We learn when we overcome our obstacles. These obstacles will only make us better writers. So embrace rejection and learn from it.

Wouldn’t it be sad if you gave up just before the next literary agent would’ve given you a contract? There doesn’t seem to be much joy in querying agents when you are only receiving rejections, but many of the greatest and most successful authors have experienced this too. Thank goodness, they didn’t give up. What would we do without Stephen King, J. K. Rowling, or Jack Canfield?

It’s been awhile since my last blog, because I’ve been working on the manuscript that I am actively querying. I’d love to hear where you are in your process and how you feel about it. Try to find joy in querying agents, because this is one part of the author’s journey. Happy querying.

“It’s part of life to have obstacles. It’s about overcoming obstacles; that’s the key to happiness.”

Herbie Hancock


Goals, Desire, and Willing to Receive

Keeping Resolutions

We are twenty-four days into 2019. I, personally, have a good feeling about this year. Some people poo poo the concept of New Year’s resolutions. It is probably because the notion of waiting for a beginning to get started; such as a new year, or a Monday, or a season, etc. can be a way of procrastinating.  Why wait until tomorrow? When you have today or even now.  But there is something about a fresh start that comes with a new year. So, what goals have you planned for this year? Are they money related, health related, relationship related, or creatively related?

Not everyone has a clear vision of what they really want in life. Or if they are even worthy of receiving their true desires. They go on as humans doing instead of humans being. We’ve all heard that saying before, but does it resonate with you? It may not at this moment, but I’m sure you’ve felt this way at sometime in your life.  Now that I have your attention, let’s find a way to make your life happen the way you want it. Are you ready to receive?

7  Steps To Get You Closer To Your Desires

Step One:  Write down the things that make you the happiest. It literally should bring a smile to your face while making this list.

Step Two:  Write down everything you are good at; or what people tell you, what you are good at.  Don’t worry if you think you don’t have a special skill set. Write down what come quickly to you mind.

Step Three:  Combine step 1 and step 2

Step Four:  Think outside of the box.  Not everything has to be seen first for it to become reality later.  Science is always catching up to the mystics. Many say, myself included, believing is seeing, not the other way around. Seeing is only part of experiencing life. We have many other senses.

If you are opened up for receiving, you will will receive. What does that exactly mean?  Everything starts with a thought first. Can you see a thought?  Think of your dream house. Does it exist yet? Or did you have to think of what you considered your dream house to be?  It starts with an idea, then a plan, then depending on how determined you are to have this house, you can end up with your dream house. That’s how developers do it.

Step Five:  Put this list somewhere that is visible every morning and evening. Really focusing on this list before bed. This step is important.  Your dreams will give you insight on how to further your dreams. Pay attention to words, numbers,  and symbols. They have messages in them that your subconscious mind wants you to listen to. You just might come up with the money making idea.

Step Six:  Be mindful what you are feeding your brain.  Listening to the news will put you in fear and away from your goals, assuming your goals are positive.  We watch what we put into our bodies. And yet, not what we allow in our brain.

Everything is energy when you take things down to the cellular level, the micro world.  We all tend to forget about that one and focus on the macro world.  You want to have your energy matching the things you desire; hence, read, explore, etc. everything that gets you excited and towards your goals. You will be surprised how this strategy work.

Step 7:  When an idea or inspiration pops up in your mind, find a way to act on it.  I’ve heard many say, “Just because you visualize your garden weed free, doesn’t mean they will go away on their own.  You must go out and tend to your garden and pull the weeds.” Action is key into making your visualization come to life.

All of these things working together will seem like magic at times.  Somethings will come easier and faster than others.   This can all seem very woo woo or unreal, but strange and unexplainable things do happen in life. Especially when your beliefs aren’t limited.

Ask And You Shall Receive

I have a little extraordinary, but true story to tell.  I was walking my dog on my usual trail in Castro Valley, California. It was a Friday afternoon around 2:00 P.M. I must explain that I am not just an author, but an angel card reader. Radleigh Valentine, one of my mentors, posts cards of the day on Facebook, much like a daily horoscope. For a week solid, the messages were about how angels, or loved ones that have passed, guides, etc. want us to ask for help. They are willing to help, but only when asked. Freewill will not allow them to give unsolicited advice.

As I was on this particular trail, I thought about Radleigh’s message and decided to try it out.  I asked very specifically and directly that if their messages were true about asking for help, then I wanted to see a bobcat that day as a validation.  I had a moment where I thought to myself, I had better ask for a bobcat and not a mountain lion, just in case they decided to answer.

As I walked I heard a voice, which sounded like my own voice say, You’ll see one, if you look hard enough. It was a rather snarky self-talk, I thought. My dog, Lucy, and I finished our hike and no bobcat sighting. I was not surprised, being I had never seen a bobcat in the almost fifty years of being in the area.  As I put Lucy in the car and headed out of the ranger station parking lot, I looked to the right into an open field, and I just about emptied my colon.

Mind Blowing

Is that a mountain lion? I thought to myself followed up instantly with another thought, I did ask for a bobcat. I figured since the voice was snarky with me earlier, I could reciprocate.  I pulled the car over to get a better look.

The animal was chilling in the sun. It was tan and very muscular. The ears seemed more rounded than a bobcat and did not have spots. I whistled loudly, like you would at a rock concert, to get it to move. I knew I could determine what it was by its tail. It looked over at me, then stood up, but not where I could see the tail.   I continued whistling so loudly that a ranger came out to see what this crazy lady was doing with the wildlife.

I knew what this must’ve looked like, so I said, “I can’t tell if this is a mountain lion or a bobcat.” He immediately informs me that it’s a bobcat. I just about died. He continued to explain it was not good to see one so close to humans.  I asked him had he ever seen one in this area. He said he had not. I thought, hum.  I didn’t have the heart or bravery to tell him, I brought it in.

We chatted a bit about the animal; how it was a young one, and how we all need to learn to coexist with each other the more we encroached in their territory. And on a completely different note, I informed him of a downed tree and broken pasture gate on one of the trails far out in the hills.  As he was pulling up a map so I could show him where I was talking about, he looks up with big eyes and said, “Now this is like National Geographic.”  I immediately looked to see what he was referring to.

I thought to myself, I thought we were looking at a bobcat, but that’s a coyote.  Well, there was a coyote going up to the bobcat. I thought now the angels are just showing off.  I asked the ranger, “So, how often does this happen?”

The picture isn’t very clear, but the coyote is heading toward the bobcat in this photo. I wish I had a telephoto lens on my phone camera.

“Like never!” He answered. I chuckled to myself. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

I am glad that I didn’t ask for a mountain lion. But the bobcat was a pretty good size. I think it weighed more than the coyote. I have always believed in the power of prayer, visualization, and meditation.  I believe we co-create our lives with our energy and attitude.  I have had many things come to fruition that have been on my vision board.

Not Everything Can Be Explained

When I have told naysayers of this incident, they had no words, except for wow. That’s weird, but pretty cool.  No one can explain this. Was it a coincidence? I don’t know, it was a pretty specific request.

We all have this capability, but for some reason we don’t use it. I challenge you to give the steps a try.  Start out small or big, and go for the life you want. What could be the worse thing to happen? Or better yet, what could be the best thing to happen?  Maybe 2019 is your year, too.

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” ~ Jim Rohn

Finding Your Tribe

Have You Found Your Tribe?

Part of the human experience is the need to be loved, feel safe, and be accepted.  Everyone wants to find their tribe. I’ve searched in many places, some good, and some, not so good. But I’m only going to focus on the good today. You can out find more about my quest in my memoir – Manifesting Me.

Writer’s Retreat

In the beginning of November I had the pleasure of attending She Writes/Spark Press/She Reads Author Retreat in the lovely Boulders Resort in Arizona.

I had never gone to any sort of retreat in my life.  I can’t express how deeply this retreat has opened and filled my heart.

Writers are an interesting breed. Most of them are introverts, unlike myself.  My energy can be too much for the introverted person, therefor, I reeled in my energy. Listening more than talking, was my goal.  I thoroughly enjoy hearing other people’s stories and processes; not to mention the speakers that were featured.

Speakers At The Retreat

We learned from Ingram Publishing Services how distribution works. We had publicists from different companies share what to expect when starting a publicity campaign. A VP of Publisher Weekly magazine spoke of what their services do, and their contribution to book industry. BookBub had a representative informing us how to utilize their website for users and authors. The owner of the Poisoned Pen gave hope to any bookstore owner.  The CEO of SparkPoint Studio, Crystal Patriarche, along side with Brooke Warner from She Writes Press, welcomed us and got the retreat started. Last but definitely not least, was our keynote speaker, Jesmyn Ward, an award winning and best selling author.

An Emotional Speech

Absorbing all of the information was intense, but in a very positive way. I never thought of a writing retreat as an emotional event before. Jesmyn’s speech during our dinner, was reiterating people’s need for acceptance and to live in a safe world. Isn’t that what everyone wants? To live in a safe world to be the best you can be?

She talked about her experience as a black woman, once she found out she was pregnant each time.  Jesmyn spoke of the fears of motherhood and how her family history played a role.

As a white woman,  growing up in a lower income area of Oakland, CA in 70’s and 80’s, I could relate to the “wanting to feel safe” part.  My situation was centered in one place. Her fear followed her. Everyone wants to feel safe.


Many authors can write, but are not always the best at public speaking. Jesmyn’s speech was brilliant. You could feel her authenticity, which I believe is what holds the attention of the audience.

I had never been in a writer’s workshop. Jesmyn led one which helped me understand, I am intuitive writer. She gave tips and exercises for better writing.  They may have seemed simple for the educated writer, but for a novice like myself, I found it very useful.

My New Tribe

The best part of the retreat was meeting and making life long connections with other authors.  No one could possibly understand what it was like having such a supportive group of woman.  I went out of my comfort zone and deliberately met new people. Their interest in each other and in me was genuine and sincere. And vice versa. We have a secret online community, but I was a little shy on asking for help from strangers.

Everyone became like one big family by the end of the retreat. I don’t ever remember being in a group with that many people and feeling infinitely supported and connected. I have successfully found my tribe.

“Ultimately, we actually all belong to only one tribe, to Earthlings.”

~ Jill Tarter

Author’s Habits for Success

Self-Discipline For Success

Almost everyday I am fascinated by the whole writing business.  It opens doors. And, some are pleasantly unexpected.  Yet, at the same time you need to be in the receiving mind space, in order take advantage of such opportunities.  Like any career, such as writing and as an entrepreneur, you must take charge of your success.  Aren’t you glad no one else has to be responsible for your success?

After listening to many successful people’s stories, one thing is clear. Practicing self-discipline and creating good habits are the gateway to success.  Any great athlete knows the importance of these practices, along with people like Tony Robbins, Bill Gates, and Oprah Winfrey.  So what kinds of habits or self-discipline does an author need to implement?

Author Needs To Read As Much As Write

Authors are writers.  Writers need to write content.  Content can be anything from poetry, blogs, article in magazines, essays, short stories, novels, memoirs, etc. It is important to get your writing into the world to make yourself known.  Set out an amount of time to write and stick to it. But make it realistic so you don’t set yourself up for failure. An hour a day 4 to 5 days a week or a few hours a couple of times of week are both very doable.  Write a blog a few times a month. Time management isn’t as difficult as it may seem.

Reading is as important, as writing.  There are many different styles of writing. The only way you can learn about them, is simply by reading.  I used read books based on recommendations regarding topics. Now I read for topics and mechanics. It has made my writing better; whereas, I don’t need quite as much coaching as before.

Personal Care

Personal care is equally as important as being productive. Get enough sleep. Being sleep deprived doesn’t help the creative juices.  All work and no play, makes for a bitter and resentful author.  Take time for R&R.  Quieting your mind through meditation or visualization will do wonders.  If you need to be on your electronic devices, limit yourself with a timer.  Make time to go outside in the sun, weather permitting. Minimize your association with negative people.

Diet isn’t something to take lightly, either.  If your blood sugar drops, you won’t feel like doing anything but, sleep.  I personally get “hangry” when I need to eat. When I get to the point of starving, I find myself eating too much, which also results in me being lazy.

Sleep and food keep your body functioning properly and stabilizes your mood. It helps with clarity and focus, allowing you to perform at your best.

The Most Important Yet Easy Habit to Build

If you are prone to reading what is going on in our country today, you might get upset, triggered, or even full on depressed.  I’ve seen tons of people’s posts over the Kavanaugh interview and confirmation, and how they can’t pull themselves out of despair. As much as I don’t believe this man is fit to be on any bench, with a temperament like his, I refuse to let it affect my mental and physical health. Take back your power.

I find listening to motivating podcasts, YouTube videos, audio books, or reading uplifting material, helps remind me there are more positive things going on in the world.  If you only focus on what is wrong in the world, you’ll find it.  Try focusing on what is right in the world. I believe there’s more good than bad.  And so does Ellen.

This YouTube video is after the devastating Vegas Shooting and Hurricane Maria.  This world was riddled with bad news and the world felt almost hopeless. It focuses on the goodness of people in the world. Thank you Ellen DeGeneres for reminding us.

One bad apple doesn’t have to ruin the bunch. It may seem like it, but if we can spread love and positive energy, we may just be able to come up with solutions.

The Choice Is Up To You

The choice is yours.  Do you want someone to be responsible for the life you want? Or are you willing to put in the work to make it happen?  I know for me, I like being in control of my destiny.  I know I can’t control everything, but I do know I can control myself. No one in the world wants me to be successful more than I.  And I’m pretty sure, I couldn’t wish someone else, enough, to make them successful.

“The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.”  ~ Unknown

There is a pattern the game changers have, and I am applying that pattern to my career as an author.  Let’s try it together and see what happens. Wouldn’t it be great to focus on our success one at time?   Leave a comment below I’d love to hear from you.


Opportunity and Perception

Things Don’t Always Go As Planned

What happens when something you hoped for doesn’t quite go the way you’d thought it would? Do you get massively disappointed? Do you quit? Or are you able to find opportunity in disappointment?

As a new author, many people have big plans to help you. Everyone is going to get your book. All of your friends will buy it.  You’ll get invited to speak at everyone’s book club.  People will be interested in articles you have written and hope to find a spot for them in online magazines. And so forth.

Well, these are the promises one hears up to publication date and a bit after.  Then the excuses come.  We haven’t heard back about the placement of your article from so and so. Or you, actually, do speak at some book clubs, but not nearly as many as you hoped. The best one yet, is when people say they are not going to buy your book, but rather get it from a friend after that friend has read it. Anyone who has published a book, knows how expensive and how much work goes into it. I personally will always pay for someone’s work of art.

Don’t be discouraged.  This is all part of being in the writing business. In fact, it is pretty much any business. Your friends and acquaintances are almost always going to be excited for you and your book. They usually are following the energy of author. I have to say it’s hard to keep the momentum going for long periods of time.

Sometimes There’s An Opportunity Better Than The Original Plan

I recently had some news about a person ordering a set of books for her class, but ended up not being able to get them at this time, due to a drastic budget cut.  I was bummed sort of, but something told me not to worry. Because something very interesting took place.

My friend works at the particular store where the order was placed, then put on hold. I contacted her to see if this teacher had indeed purchased the books.  I felt in my gut that the order might not have gone through.  Funny how things work out. She gave me the news, but followed up with; there’s a field trip with this particular class to visit the bookstore and would I like to be a guest author? And by the way, Guy Johnson, Maya Angelou’s son, would be there.

I have been on cloud nine since this news.  Trust your gut. And follow up with people. I was a little nervous asking if the order had been placed, in fear of the answer. Had I not asked my friend, I might’ve missed an amazing opportunity. It would’ve been nice to sell thirty books to a class, but I know I could sell thirty books at some point on my own.

Overnight Success Is Extremely Rare

Opportunity is all around.  You might have to look hard for it, but it is there. Remember there is no such thing as overnight success. There are stories in which it sounds like overnight success. It’s rare. Ask any famous or successful person.  I heard Amy Schumer in an interview with Oprah and how she was described as overnight success. And her reply to that was something like, “Overnight? Yeah, like after ten years of hard work.” Must’ve been one really long night.

We only hear the quick version of success stories. Because if we heard what really took place, it might seem boring or too hard.  Take a stake out for example.  The real ones almost never amount to anything.  But watch a movie and things are happening left and right.  Folks, it’s television.  People want to be entertained and wowed, and do not have much patience for boring.  Let’s face it, everyone loves one-day or two-day shipping.

Do Not Dismiss The Power Of Positive Thinking

You’re probably thinking I’m writing this because, I’m not making it right this second.  The truth is, I am in the process of making it. Although, I have no idea what to expect. Therefor, I don’t have any expectations.  That maybe a better attitude to have.

Again, I bring up the power of positive thinking. It goes without saying how I feel about the Law of Attraction. It works.  Keeping yourself in a positive and happy space, tells the Universe, Divine, God, etc., (whatever you choose to call it) to give you more of what matches that energy.  I’ve mentioned before in other blogs, the Universe is working for you, even when it feels like everything is against you. Your thoughts and energy are part of the success process. The physical is the only the macro part of life and the thinking is the micro part of life.  Everything starts with a thought or idea.

What I can say and know for sure, is my attitude has everything to do with my success and what types of opportunities and people I attract into my life. I have an unusually sharp memory and can see my own patterns. If you really were honest with yourself, you’d see the patterns in your own life that was created with your energy. Knowing this valuable information automatically gives you power.    Your energy is a valuable resource and it’s free.

Does It Matter How You See The Glass?

Seeing the glass half full is always a better outlook, than half empty. But realize if the glass is empty, you can always refill it.  Writing is my new passion, and I will keep on, keeping on.  It’s fascinating how this journey is unfolding.  Remember, It’s the journey, not the destination.

When there is an occurrence that is perceived as less than desirable, don’t be too upset. Go with the flow. There’s usually a reason when something doesn’t work out. It usually means there’s a better way or an opportunity coming.  I could’ve sulked about the teacher not getting my books, but now I have speaking event. I could get upset by people telling me they aren’t going to pay for my book.  But people are reading my book, anyway they can. The interested parties not committing to running my article, never said no. Which means, maybe they haven’t ran the article, yet. Patience is a virtue.

Something better could be lurking around the corner.   Nothing is a failure, until you deem it so. Manifesting Me shows how the law of attraction works, when it was on purpose and when it was not. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control your thought process around it. It’s all perception.  Never give up. You never know what opportunities will show up.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~ Lao Tzu



How Does an Author Define Success?

Define An Author’s Success

Well, my first book Manifesting Me has officially been out for one season. Being a new author, I had no idea what good book sales were. When is the book a success? What exactly is the criteria that needs to be met in order claim best seller? Maybe the real question is, how does each author define success?

Success comes in many forms, as we all know.   I believe success is defined individually. Is about how many awards you receive?  Or is it total book sales? Does have to be book sold by a certain deadline?  I read somewhere if you sold at least a 1000 copies of your first book, you should consider that a success.  It has also has been said a book’s average lifespan is short; usually three months after the publicity campaign. Who wants to be average?

I mentioned in my last blog I read Think and Grow Rich for a second time.  That book was first published in 1937.  It has gone through many cycles of being trendy. It sold more than 20 million copies by 1970, and by 2015 sold more than 100 million copies.  I’d say that would define success.  I’m not sure when Napoleon Hill sold his first 1000 books, but what if took him 2 years? Maybe, a first time author will get to one thousand books after five years.  With that in mind, should you put a time on when to declare success?

Success Comes in Different Forms

Book sales define only part of the success of a author.   What about speaking engagements?  Inspiring others?  Or what about making your book current over again? If I am being honest, I am trying to figure this out for myself. And there seems to lots of ways to go about this.

Self-promoting is a very large part of how well your book will do. Have you entered contests? Awards give you confidence and bragging rights. Plus, gives you credibility.  Credibility give you authority on a subject leading to speaking engagements via podcasts, interviews in magazines, etc.  Exposure, exposure, exposure. The more people that get to know you, the more the know about your book and the more people will want it.  What sets you apart from every other author? Do you have hidden talents you’d like to explore?

In case you haven’t noticed, I love talking about the law of attraction.  Manifesting Me gives many example of where attitude was; whether through love or fear, and how the material manifested in my life.  As I’ve grasped how energy works, I’ve been able to read angel cards. Hence, adding to my income.

Updated Website

Keeping a website updated through blogs or events aids in an author’s success.  Lots of people have made plenty of money blogging in the past.  I’m not sure how much money is made through blogging lately, but it all adds up.  Plus, it drives people to your website.  Having hits on your website gives you the opportunity for sales of your book or perhaps you have PDF files of workbooks for sale and not to mention affiliate/associate programs.

What’s handy about a website is having plugins. They track how well your site is doing.  I try to set realistic goals and once they have been met, I set new goals. All of these things add to your success.

Easy But Consistent

The things mentioned above are not difficult.  Creating the content takes the most amount of time.  It’s the little tasks and being consistent that will get you the success you desire.  Today I listened to one of Jim Rohn’s videos. He said something that resonated with me and it was something to the the effect: When you plant a garden in the spring, you must tend to it all the time even up to the summer, or the weeds and bugs will tend to it for you. 

Basically, you don’t just publish a book and that’s the end of it.  Go above and beyond.  Be excited about what you’ve created and nurture it so it can keep growing.  Although, typically a book’s life isn’t long, doesn’t mean you have to follow those rules.  It’s just an average.

Balance Is the True Success For Me

Of course, money is always associated with success, but I feel balance is the most important and the hardest.  Are you only successful in business? Or are you better at having successful relationships?  Are you a successful a having fun?

Feeling proud, happy, content, satisfied, safe, loved, etc. Is really what people are striving for.  Most feel it’s money.  Because in the having the money, one feels less stressed over bills, leading to a sense of peace and security. It’s the peace and security we’re after.

As long as your’e feeling inspired and creative while producing content and making a profit, I believe you’ve found your success. Every successful author was new at some point.  There aren’t any real get rich schemes in any industry. So take each little triumph and build on them.  You are on your way to success.  It isn’t over until you deem it so.

Not Just For Authors

Even though this blog is about the success of an author, this applies to pretty much anything. Listen to successful people through videos, NPR, podcasts, books, etc. they all say the same thing.  I am only regurgitating information I have heard and applied to my life to find that it works.  Good luck and much success to all of those who want it and are going for it.

I had to share one of my favorite authors J. K. Rowling’s interview with Oprah. The first author to become a billionaire.  Truly inspiring. Click the link below.

If you’d like any updates, please subscribe below.  Don’t forget to get to click the “buy” button and get your copy of Manifesting Me today.

“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”~ Napoleon Hill

What Thoughts Are Filling Your Mind?

Positive Topics

I had to erase my first draft of this blog, because it wasn’t a positive topic.  We have enough icky stuff in the media. I want to be part of the solution, not add to the problem.

What are you filling your thoughts with? We know through law of attraction what your energy space is in, is what you’ll attract.  If you’re constantly looking up articles on the internet about all of the scary things in the world, I will guarantee you’ll get to see more and more things to frighten you.  Why not try some uplifting thoughts and see how that makes you feel.

The Top Five Percent

There’s a reason that only the top five percent of people are successful.  The answer is quite simple; positive thinking is the best food for the mind. They don’t have limiting beliefs and don’t focus on negativity. Successful people look at failure much differently. It’s not defeat, but rather a tool to search for another way. In other words, they don’t give up or wallow in negative emotions.  They search for solutions.

Think and Grow Rich was published in 1937 and is still current today. A book I love to fill my mind.  One would think by its title that it was about making money.  It isn’t. It’s about the philosophy of accomplishing anything you set out to do. Henry Ford kept pursuing his dream to make a horseless carriage, with minimal schooling and people shooting his ideas down.  Thank goodness he didn’t let others’ negative thinking detour him. We all love our vehicles.

Keep Your Dreams to Yourself

Don’t share your dreams with others. Most people have limiting beliefs and will project their fears of failure onto you.  I don’t think people mean to smash your dreams, but they can’t see past their own nose.  If you choose to share your dreams, make sure the person with whom you are sharing, is like-minded.

The sky is the limit. Don’t let others tell you any different.  I never thought I’d by a house as a single mother at 25 years old, own properties, own a salon, or write a book. Listen to the successful people around you and listen to their stories. We all have the same 24 hours in a day.  How will you spend your time?


Visualization works.  I know from personal experience and reading the success stories of others.  If you drown your thoughts and feelings in positivity, your will attract more positive encounters.

Visualization can be done in different ways. You can make a physical vision board, or quiet your mind and visualize in your mind’s eye what you want your life to look like. Feel the feelings of the having it. Changing your thoughts is the first step, and the emotions behind the thought are where the real magic happens.

Emotional Upsets

Let’s keep it real.  It’s hard to stay happy all of the time. Life happens and we will encounter emotional upsets at some point in our lives.  But how long will you live in that space?

Some things you can do to bring you out of a state of depression are exercise, read or listen to motivating books, watch your favorite comedy movie, go have coffee with a friend and not discuss your problem. The emotional problem doesn’t go away automatically, but it diminishes the less attention you give to it.

Feel the feelings and acknowledge them, then gently remind yourself, this contrast in your life helps you appreciate the good times, as well as, giving you an opportunity to examine how you could have handled the upset; how you could grow  or what you learned from the experience.

Top Achievers

The top achievers never let an emotional upset get in the way of their missions.  They address an undesirable issue, deal with it, then move on; taking away at least one lesson from the experience.

Top achievers aren’t jealous, but curious.  When they get inspired by an idea, they learn and research all there is to know on the subject matter:  Had it been done before? Who are the top achiever in that area? How can you monetize the idea, etc?  They fill their mind and subconscious mind information and with positivity, by meditating, visualizing, relaxing, being productive, and express gratitude.

Fear-based Thinking

Top ten traits guaranteed to lack success;

1. lack of drive 2. can’t make a decision 3. afraid your idea won’t work 4. substance abuse 5. focusing on the negative what ifs 6. procrastination 7. trying to be someone else 8. unwillingness to except one’s own mistakes 9. finding others’ faults/gossiping 10. taking from others to get ahead/using people

Positive-based or Love-based Thinking

Top ten traits guaranteed toward success;

1. willing to learn/be open-minded 2. exercise 3. healthy diet 4. healthy relationships 5. passion 6. follow through 7. meditation 8. decisive 9.  focuses on what’s working/find the good in things 10. being authentic

See For Yourself

Test these suggestion out for yourself to see if they work.  You will be pleasantly surprised what you’ll find.  Many have tested this notion and the research does not lie.  There are many books on this subject all saying the same things.  I would highly encourage you to check out some of these texts. Some style will resonate more with you than others, but if you want to be extraordinary and accomplish great things in all areas of your life, you must start somewhere.

Think for a moment —  if we all did this, what a wonderful world of happy people we would have.  Fear and love are all only a state of mind. Which will you choose?

Here’s the link to Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Surrender Doesn’t Mean You Give Up

Can’t Get It Out Of My Head

I can’t get the word “surrender” out of my head, leading me to explore this topic.  Since Manifesting Me came into the world this past June, the hoopla has died down a smidgen. It’s not to say things aren’t happening, but the hype isn’t as prevalent as it was during the book launch. I can’t stop feeling like I’m missing out on something. I find I have been comparing myself with other authors;  a topic I’ve talked about in a previous blog. While I am being  proactive in my process of being an author, I constantly hear the little voice in my head saying, “surrender.”

I don’t think I’ve actually understood what “surrender” really meant, up to this point. Even though I’ve heard other use the phrase, “surrender” a thousand time,  I’ve only understood it logically.  I think I’m finally understanding on a deeper level what the true meaning is. As much as I want to be knee deep in the author world, there’s a gestation period, like anything else. Another topic I’ve blogged about, before.  However, when I am the person in the state of insecurity, I know that I have to reel in my negative thoughts; and let be, what will be. It’s not always easy at first. Hence, I have to surrender.

A White Flag Or Throwing In the Towel Equals Surrender

Most of us think of a white flag waving or of throwing in the towel, when someone brings up the word, surrender; as giving up. Surrendering doesn’t mean you give up on what you’re trying to accomplish. It means to stop trying to control specific outcomes.  Surrendering, means do what you can and don’t focus on things out of your control. Don’t obsess on the things that aren’t going exactly the way you envisioned.

Maybe the thing I thought wasn’t happening, just hasn’t happened, yet.  As much as I’ve preached on how the Universe is working for you, this is the time when I need to practice what I preach. If things are meant to be, they will. And if not, something better will come.

Comparing Can Get You Into Trouble

As a new author, I didn’t have a clear picture of what my outcome was to be.  I knew I wanted to write my memoir and that it would hopefully help someone.  I relied heavily on reading what other authors have shared online to get an indicator of what the author life was like.

I’ve heard time and time again, Don’t plan to get rich off of your first book. It’s your second or even tenth book, that makes you money.   Which doesn’t sound hopeful; especially after spending a pretty penny to publish. Or  I am on the morning show. I’m winning all these awards,  which isn’t something that has it happened in my experience…at least not at this point.

Being in social media groups with other authors sharing their journey, has been helpful, inspiring, and has been very useful. But at times, has triggered my insecurities. I find myself comparing and competing with other authors, when I have no clue of where they are in their journey. Maybe they’ve been working if the field for many years.  Maybe they’ve paid more for an expensive publicity package. Whatever the case is, I know nothing of their history and to presume anything is just silly; like comparing apples to oranges. Logically, I know this to be very unproductive.  Thankfully, the voice in my head is persistent.”Surrender!”

Insecure Moments

Insecure moments are quite normal, but aren’t discussed as much in these forums. Most want to show all of their accolades, which is awesome! Who wouldn’t want the world to know about their accomplishments and progress? I’d do the same thing.  Publishing a book is an impressive achievement and one should be proud.

There’s more to writing a book, when you want to have it be part of your career.  There’s a wealth of information and tons to do, most of which is fun and creative. Nonetheless, there’s the vulnerable part; especially when it comes to memoir. People are going to have opinions about you. Everyone has a story, so why does yours matter? Realizing you’re one of many to trying to make it, can be overwhelming at times.  The voice in my head says, “Surrender.”

So what does that mean? I think to myself.  “Quit worrying.” The voice in my head answers.

Although, both voices are in my head, I refer to my thoughts as one, and the voice another. My essence (my soul) is the inner voice telling my ego (thoughts) to surrender.

Learning how to surrender was something I was forced to do, once my book was released to the world. I’d spent the money to make it happen.  There’s no turning back now.  On the upside, the feedback has been pretty positive. Plus, I have events on the calendar. Then there’s the downside, I’d been informed of an awesome opportunity, but it hasn’t been confirmed. The voice continues telling me to surrender.  Why do I need to hear this?

It’s quite simple. I’m focusing on the wrong things. Like, thinking the awesome opportunity is gone. When maybe, it just didn’t happen yet. I seem to have this sense of urgency. Clearly, my ego has taken control.

Essence And Ego

Ego constantly is testing reality and is finite. It’s good for accounting, organizing, etc. and is a part of you that you can’t get rid of. How I define the ego, is it’s the nagging part of your brain that expresses conditional love.  Therefor, it points out all of your flaws.

Essence is the part of you – your soul or inner being – that loves you unconditionally and is infinite.  It’s your connection to All. My essences wants me relax, by telling me, “Surrender. Everything will be fine. Don’t put all the emphasis into the outcome. Enjoy the journey. This is only the beginning. What’s the rush? Chill.”

When you are a doer, like I am, it’s hard to give up power and to allow things to happen in their natural time. I’m being guided by the little non-judging voice, to let it take whatever time is needed, and not look into the future with fear-clouded glasses, to be successful in anything.

Surrender Isn’t Forceful

Have you ever tried grasping a bar of soap tightly?  If you have, you know its nearly impossible to hold on to it.  It’s the same as holding on too tightly to a specific outcome. Let go a little and don’t try to force things.  I’m sure you know of someone, or experienced it for yourself, an incident where you forced something, and you got it. Yet the desired outcome, wasn’t quite what you’d had in mind.

Surrender isn’t forceful, tense, or exhausting.  Thus, if you are experiencing frustration and disappointment? It is time for you to surrender.  And if things seem to be falling into place without force and you’re feeling joyful, motivated, and inspired? Pat yourself on the back! You are in what others call being in the flow. Can you tell when your ego get the best of you? Has the little voice in your head ever said, Surrender?

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

Click the link to hear Oprah’s experience with surrendering and the movie, The Color Purple.

Click the link to hear  Denzel Washington’s speech on his experience with surrendering.

Working with Technology and Reading

Technology Has Helped the Youth to Read

Technology has it pros and cons when it comes to reading. Since technology isn’t going anywhere, we need to adapt to it. Since texting is the leading way the young people communicate these days, they are more inclined to write and read. Statistics shows in 2018 study; the share of adults that have read a book in any sort of format are the ages between 18-29 at 84%, ages 30-40 at 74%, 50-64 71%, and 65+ 67%. Is this due technology? Maybe, maybe not.

Being how I was never a great reader, due to dyslexia, I now read tons online and now books. Since  the ease in accessing my phone and the love of researching things, I’ve read more than ever.  The brain works like a muscle and the more you train it, it gets stronger. Since smart phones, Facebook, Twitter, etc., have been around, reading and writing/texting have become a part of everyone’s life, unless you live under a rock or refuse to get with the times. Maybe technology isn’t as bad as you think.

Reading Platforms

There are many platforms for reading; from the iPad, computers, smartphones, audio books, or regular hard copies. Choices gives people the opportunity to read more. As a new author, I want people to be able to access my book Manifesting Me without any deterrence. It’s more important for the message of book to get out, not what medium is being used.

With all of the reading devices out there, there is another thing to consider; which social media platform will work best with what you’re trying to do. Is it personal or for business?  I’m using it for both, but mainly my business.  It can be a bit overwhelming to a new author like myself, to determine which one works best, but I’m willing to try them all.  Once you think you knew of them all, there’s more. And forever changing.

Differences In Reading Platforms

I have found for myself as a new author, Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, and my website – – seem to be the ones I am more active with.  My son is in a band and they do well with Snapchat and Instagram.  Although, Facebook is great for advertising local events for any endeavor.  All of my hairstylist friends do extremely well with Instagram, Pinterest, and Yelp.

I’ve only scratched the surface with social media and will continue to see which platform is best for my needs. Have you figured out which one works best for your needs? Click the link below to see social media stats.

Addicted to Reading Social Media

As great and useful social media for all sorts of reading material is, there is the down side to watch out for. Don’t get addicted to thinking a “like” is the validation you have to have. It’s great to have accolades and so forth, but as an author or any artist, don’t let other’s opinions define you. Because there will be a time when you might not get the “like” you’re hoping for.  Click the link below to see the studies between depression and the amount of time spent on social media.…/a-new-more-rigorous-study-confirms-the-more-you-use-facebook-the-worse-you-feel

Social media was designed to make you somewhat addicted.  The same endorphins get released when you get approval or liked as in gambling.  After all, all social media is its own type of business.  The more hits a site gets, the more money is generated through ads.

Law of Attraction and Reading

I’ve talked a lot about the law of attraction in previous blogs; how your thoughts create your reality. Pay attention to your emotions and energy while reading social media. Are you feeling inspired or motivated or all over good? Or are you feeling irritated or angry or depressed?  Are you stalking others and comparing yourself to them?  Let your feelings be your guide to what you want to read or what you want others to be reading about you.  Remember, not everything is as it seems, on social media.

Technology and devices are great tools for personal use while keeping up with distant family and friends. In business, you have the opportunity to reach mass amounts of people with only a few clicks, like never before.  How will you expand your business? What do you want people reading about you or your business?  Let’s use this technology to enhance our lives and businesses, with what we choose to read. Let technology be your servant.

“Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.” ~ Christian Lous Lange

Projecting Past Experiences On Others

What Does Living in the Past Mean?

Do you live in the past?  Most people I’ve talked to recently, seem to live in the past. You’re probably wondering what that means?  It’s when people project their past experiences on others, as if it will happen in the future or is happening now.

Since this is the time when a child is getting ready to advance into another grade, you can see how the different triggers show up.  One example that comes to mind is when one’s child goes to school, whether it’s high school, elementary school, or middle school.  When the parent’s experience was traumatic in whichever grade, you’ll see a panic in the parent when the child is in that same time period.

Projecting Your Past on to Your Child

Most parents tend to project and pass their experiences down the family line.  Hence patterns, good or bad, will continue. Writing Manifesting Me helped me see this tendency more clearly than ever.  I went to a tough elementary school where there were no shortage of fights.  By the time I went to middle school (which was junior high back in the day), I had already gone through what most middle school age kids went through; leaving me with a rather unusually good experience.

When my kids were in elementary school, all I could think about was if my child was getting picked on.  Were they afraid to use the bathroom, like I was?  It’s funny because I didn’t have those thoughts when they entered middle school like the rest of the world. Obviously, I based everything on my own past experiences.

If a person was a wild child and partied like a rockstar in the 80’s, that same person might be inclined to think all kids are doing the same kinds of crazy stuff.  I have found today, that some teens may be doing some of the same drug experimenting, but it seems to be less common as it was when I was growing up.  Thankfully, my kids and their friends never partied the same way I did in the past.

Living in the Past at Work

Another example are when young people enter into an industry that changes continually, such as music, beauty, writing, etc.  The older generation sometimes lives in the past and don’t want to accept change; especially in this new world of technology.  The younger generation has learned to  use Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest, Twitter, Yelp, etc. to advertise.  This might seem easier than beating the streets, but there comes a time that we all must evolve and live in the now.  What worked well a long time ago, might not be as useful. Or you can think of it as another tool and add it into your repertoire.

With smartphones you can show off your work and advertise at any given time. Plus, it’s cheaper than running ads. Anything that can make your job easier, I say go for it.  There is always a silver lining.

Some Examples are More Subtle

There are other subtle examples of living in the past such as where your fears lie when it comes to finances, relationship, and career.  I grew up in a household with fear-based thinking around money.  My mother stressed more outwardly about money issues with my older sister than me, which lead to my sister’s mindset of lack of money to a much higher degree than mine.  There’s a feeling of never enough money.

I can tell when a person has grown up with a view of lack of money.  It doesn’t matter how much money they make, whether it’s $50,000.00 or $200,000.00, it’s the same thought process; it’s never enough. This sounds pretty silly, but I’ve seen it.  It really boils down to a scarcity mentality, which probably has been taught through past generations.

People who have grown up with parents surviving the Great Depression tend to save and ration.  Not so long ago, my grandmother would by things for two bits ($0.25) at a garage sale just in case someone could possibly use it. Talk about living in the past. That’s what people did back then.

Being Grateful for the Past

Not all ways are bad from the past.  The interaction we had with each other in the past was something to be cherished.  Technology can’t give you personal one-on-one connections.  Not having all of the devices around for constant entertainment, gave us a chance to explore our imaginations. When I was little playing with the neighborhood girl and my sister, we used the thorns from rose bushes, as people to fit in our Hot Wheels cars.  We were forever in a make-believe world, and it was fun.

Our parents didn’t  hover over us every second worrying whether someone would kidnap us.  We learned how to be resourceful, since they had a sense of value of money and didn’t shower us with the latest gadgets. They didn’t try to out do another parent by buying lavish gifts, which seems to be more prevalent today.

Gadgets do exist now, and we live in a new time. It’s an era of technology and things move more quickly than ever.  Take what is good from the past and apply it to the present, but evolve yourself in this day and age and take it for what it is. Some changes have made life great. I wouldn’t want to wash all of my clothes by hand. Can you see the positive changes or do you let the past dictate your life? We really only have the now.  The past, is just that, the past.

“People don’t realize that now is all there ever is; there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind.” ~ Eckhart Tolle